The Westergard Family: Thoughts On Pregnancy

I thought I'd better write down a few thoughts about this pregnancy before it's over. Even though right now it feels like it will never be over and that I'll never forget how much I hate this. Yes, I know hate is a strong word but I seriously hate being pregnant. My life pretty much just stops for nine months and I have so much guilt because of it. I normally have a strong desire to be this ambitious super mom. Not that I ever really ever am a super mom, but at least I try. Right now I hardly accomplish anything and since I'm staying at home this year I feel really bad about it. I just don't feel like myself at all. I couldn't care less about things that normally excite me. So I tell myself it won't last forever and that someday I'll feel good again.
I absolutely adore my little boys. Just thinking about them makes me smile :) So I know a nine month sacrifice will be worth it in the end. I can't wait to hold my new little baby in my arms and just love him. I love the smell of a brand new baby. Their breath even has the sweetest smell. I must admit I'm actually a little nervous this time around. Garrett will be 4 in August so it's been awhile since we had a baby in the house, and I'm kind of comfortable with these little boys who can do things on their own. I also have 2 really easy boys and I fear we're going to be given a little terror child.
Each of my 3 pregnancies have been a little different. The first two were a lot alike except the twin pregnancy was twice the hormones and much more intense. This third pregnancy has had several things that are different about it and that convinced me it was going to be a girl.
I get every pregnancy symptom listed in the book. Seriously, I'm not joking and it stinks. This time around I shouldn't complain because my nausea wasn't as bad and lasted a shorter amount of time. I still had it but it wasn't as intense and I could usually calm myself and keep myself from puking. I haven't been so sensitive to smells either which helps. I have no desire to eat while pregnant, yet keeping food on my stomach is critical for me to keep nausea under control. I have to force myself to eat, and the only thing I craved at first was snow cones/slushies. So I guess one benefit is that I don't really gain weight. Right now I'm about 34 weeks and have only gained 17 pounds. I stayed under 20 pounds with Garrett and hope that happens again. This baby can eat all the fat he wants off other places of my body.
This time I had intense fatigue the first half. I had to fight to stay awake, it was so weird. My skin changed and I broke out with zits like a teenager. During my last pregnancies my skin got really clear and smooth. My hair also fell out like crazy, usually that's an after pregnancy thing. So with these and other changes I thought a baby girl was in our future. We found out at 19 weeks a few days before Christmas that it was another boy. I told the tech to give me a crotch shot while she was doing the big ultrasound and I knew instantly that it was boy. I couldn't believe it FOUR BOYS! I'll admit there were a few minutes of disappointment but then I saw him yawn during the ultrasound and it was the sweetest thing. I knew he was meant to be ours and I'll take whoever is up in heaven waiting to be a part of our family boy or girl. In my patriarchal blessing it says that families are not just put together by chance and that I was put in the family I was supposed to be in. I think of that often. That whole day I couldn't help but just chuckle to myself and think about our future.
We waited to tell our families the baby's sex until Christmas since it was just a few days away. I made cupcakes and made everyone bite into them at the same time. The center was dyed blue for a boy. Everyone just laughed and congratulated us.

I had about two months where I felt human again. The nausea and fatigue calmed down and it was really nice. Then when I hit week 31 the fatigue has come back and since my belly has gotten so big I'm very uncomfortable. I currently can't walk very far at all without having cramp like contractions. My belly tightens and I actually cannot move. I had to just stand there in the mall one day. Riding in the car and hitting bumps in the road kills me. I just plain hurt, I have so much lower pressure. I constantly feel like I have to pee and have never ending heartburn. Varicose veins are popping out on my legs again which stinks since I just had surgery on them 2 yrs ago. But the doctor checks me and says everything looks okay. I had a cerclage (cervical stitches) put in at 15 wks since I have an incompetent cervix. So they should keep me closed until this baby is fully baked. I'm always worrying about something going wrong and having another NICU baby. Been there, done that. My goal is to make it to 38 weeks. I can do it...I can do it...I can do it...
This little munchkin inside me is very wiggly, he seems to always be awake (eek!). It hurts when he moves around, but it is kind of cool to see and feel a little hand or foot move across my belly.
Well, this is probably way more info than anyone wants to read but I write it so I can look back at it in the future. My due date is May 12, 2012. Dr. Seale said he'd schedule my c-section a week before around May 5th unless I contract on my own before then which will probably happen. Since my brother-in-law Alex decided to plan his wedding on my due date hopefully I'll feel good enough to make an appearance. For my benefit pray that April goes by quickly :)

I guess I'll share a couple preggo picts.